Source: platonictimeswithfassbenderAt last night’s party, Michael and I ran into Cumberbatch. He was being SUCH A BITCH!
We kept filling his wine glass when he wasn’t looking. And when he was too drunk to realize, we duct taped him to the laundry room wall.
Amy, October 2012 (via awesomethingsmyfriendsays)
I’m delightful
Source: platonictimeswithfassbender
Michael thinks Blades Of Glory is the best sports movie of all time.
I was like, “Bitch, please. Haven’t you seen The Sandlot?”
Source: platonictimeswithfassbenderMichael and I watched 300 the other day. He was way more turned on by himself than I could ever be.
Source: platonictimeswithfassbenderMichael and I were at the video store and he picked up a DVD of The Girlfriend Experience. “What’s the Girlfriend Experience?” he asked.
At first I was tempted to say, “Oh, it’s a Soderbergh film, etc.,” but then I got an idea. I got really close to him and lowered my voice to a whisper. I said, “That’s when a girl, like, keeps calling your house any time of the day, asking you what you’re thinking about.”
Michael’s face turned white.
“And then,” I continued, “it gets even worse. She comes to your house and follows you around, crying with her mascara running down her face, asking why you don’t ‘love her’ anymore.”
It was clear that he was getting uncomfortable and really scared.
“Just kidding,” I said. “It’s about a call girl. And I could totally do that shit to you for free.”
